Bill Simmons Lies

I have a weird past with reading Bill Simmons - I remember when he was the Boston Sports Guy, in 2001, 2002-ish, and I didn't like his stuff.

I have a few emails I found that reference my feelings for him, and in one of them I said, "I only tend to agree with the stuff he says about the NBA, not the other sports", which I find funny because now he is almost exclusively an NBA talking head, and his book is as close to my favorite 1/2 reference, 1/2 observation book I've ever read.

If I were an artist, which I'm not, my sports book reading progression would be like Radiohead's first 4 album progression - none of them are the same but you can see similarities...going back to the Baseball Encyclopedia which was purely numbers, and leading all the way up to now which is The Book of Basketball.

But that's not why I'm here, I'm here to sympathize with our old pal Bill Simmons and work through what I think is really an unfortunate series of lies he is convincing himself of, all in the name of...well, in the name of I don't know what.

This is not a popular thought process, but it's sorta how I feel, and it isn't just about Bill & his feelings, but its sorta about how people approach things that irk them in general. I am trying to really find out what bothers Bill the most about this fiasco - see through the lies he has convinced himself of - and figure out what really bothers him.

I am going to get very amateur psychologist on you, but I think this all comes back to his dad. He references his Dad at least once in every work he does, and I don't think thats en exaggeration. He loves his Dad and his Dad's opinion, and that's admirable.

I think that at the end of the day, "The Decision" as well as the follow up on Day 2, which was equally, if not more offensive, Press Conference with Dry Ice, really hit Bill's sensibilities pretty hard. Bill's Dad really is not about what those 2 days were about, and I feel like Bill is grabbing at straws instead of purely admitting that, above all else, those 2 days of regalia were just too much for his Dad to handle.

Bill will point out really odd things, like he did yesterday on Brian Kenny's Radio show on ESPN Radio. This really didn't make sense to me. He was going on and on about how great it would be if Chris Paul was traded to the Knicks or Celtics - how his addition would be fantastic for both squads, without a hint of anger or acrimony towards any parties out there.

Kenny immediately called him on this hypocrisy - why is it okay for Chris Paul to bolt to another player in order to get better, why is that acceptable? His answer was twofold:

1. Because Chris Paul isn't the best player in the league and he isn't expected to have the same pedigree as Jordan - the killer "i want you dead" instinct. Well, that's stupid, Bill. That's a lie to yourself. All of them want to win really badly, and I don't see, aside from cheating, how they get there should effect anything.

2. (this one killed me) Because Chris Paul & Amare compliment each other - they aren't the same style, so it is okay if they compliment each other. He feels Wade & LeBron are too similar in the way they play hoops.

Lets break that one down.

First of all, that's purely a judgement call. What if you happen to like the style of 2 slashers kicking out to jumpshooters, like they'll do with Mike Miller & James Jones. Why does 1 style (big/small) v. (2 slashers) have to be more accepted than other?

Second of all, LeBron may reinvent himself. LeBron can be Magic, he really can. Magic was a point guard in a PF body, right? Yes. This notion that they don't compliment each other is really, really embarrassingly bad logic.

Bill is also jumping on the Jordan & Magic bandwagon when talking about, "that's not how it was in my day!" argument, which again is really terrible. I've been over this before, but in the last day or 2 I realized a HUGE flaw with this thinking, a lie the press and those veteran players are perpetuating.

The press is asking Magic if he'd play with Larry. Of course he wouldn't. That guy's entire life is based on his rivalry with Larry Bird. From the time he was 18 to the time he was ... now, he's been compared to Larry Bird. What they didn't ask Magic was, "if you were on a team that won 32 games a year for 4 years, would you play with Isaiah?"

LeBron joined forces with 2 guys who were drafted in his class, they were his peers. Does LeBron have a true rival? I don't know - I do know that Kobe & LeBron have been part of the discussion for a long time - would LeBron play with Kobe? I don't know, it wasn't part of the discussion b/c it wasn't financially feasible. No team has ever set them up for this kind of "thing" like the Heat have - if the Lakers set themselves up this way or if the Pistons did in the 80's, we may have seen something fantastic.

If Scottie Pippen played like the position he was drafted, and if Horace Grant played like a dork in goggles, and if Dennis Rodman didn't join the team as the best rebounder in 40 years, there could have been a situation in which Jordan would have combined with Ewing or Hakeem or someone else, let's not lie to ourselves about that reality. Remember, Jordan went to play at North Friggen Carolina, why didn't he Indiana State his way to the NCAA Finals?

Cuz he wanted to win, and wanted to succeed.

Which brings me to my final point. For years, basically as long as contracts have been a part of sports conscious, there has been a calling by sports fans to imagine scenarios in which players sacrifice dollars to form a mega-team. Now, of course its always something we want in our home town. It was something you always heard people say, "why can't these guys just admit enough is enough and join a mega-team?!"

The Rockets tried it with Barkley, Olajuwon and Drexler in 1996, and it didn't work. Drexler retired, they tried to bring in Pippen but the chemistry was bad and age won out. In 2004 the Lakers tried with Gary Payton, Shaq, Kobe & Karl Malone - but again, age was defeated in the Finals...they didn't quite have the legs to make it happen.

I am sitting here watching Matt Barnes sign with the Lakers for less money, in order to join a team to win it. I am stunned that I am forced to question that thinking. It is something we have all been asking for, forever, and its happening. Its admirable, isn't it?

LeBron, Wade & Bosh all took less money, none of them put themselves inside the top 20 in salary. TOP 20!!! They are all NBA top 20 - 2 of them are NBA top 5. They are sacrificing, and they are simply choosing to do it earlier in their careers.

Bill and Co., I understand disliking the LeBracle to the point where you lost respect for him. I can understand wanting to defeat that Goliath. I could, for a brief moment, understand the "they'll have no money" argument. But once the guys said, "i'll take less than max", you didn't believe them and said, "not possible" but you were wrong.

The fact remains what these guys have done, and are trying to do, is unprecedented in sports, and much like the on field historic never before seen crap we all love, I'm in love with this new formula, and we all should be.

1. Give Up Money

2. Play With Friends

3. Expand Your Own Personal Skill Set

4. Change The Game

Good on you, Miami.

The Heat Lies

My inaugural post will be about the most talked about sports story in decades - LeBron to the Heat. But this one isn't going to be about him, its going to be about some recent commentary, and how it stems from a dishonest place.

First of all, the following teams in the last 5 years have proven you cannot win a title alone, as a lone superstar:

2010 - We see the Celtics rip and plow through individuals (Howard, LeBron) and we are again reminded of how a combo of players, Pau & Kobe can overcome anything. It also needs to be mentioned that their chemistry and captainship stems from D. Fisher, who is the textbook definition of role player.

2009 - Lakers put the team together, win their first.

2008 - Boston Celtics defeat the Lakers, who saw the Celtics as a team beast, and acquired Pau in order to help All-Universe-All-Time Kobe. Kobe couldn't do it alone, and in his first try he can't even do it with Pau.

2007 - The Spurs are a consummate team. Tony Parker and Duncan led the pack, but Manu may have had his finest, if not most impactful season, in 2007.

2006 - You have to remember that Shaq was a monster back then, and he was injured a lot of this season, and the Heat STUNK. His health v. Detroit and Orlando in the playoffs was huge, and against the Mavs he gave D. Wade the freedom to win MVP. D. Wade, contrary to popular belief, didn't win that alone.

So that's just the last 5 years.

This past weekend, Mike Jordan was quoted as saying the following about the Heat situation:

"There's no way, with hindsight, I would've ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, 'Hey, look, lets get together and play on one team."

I will now dissect the lies.

1. Yes, you would have. Had the opportunity arisen to play on those teams, you would have.
2. Magic and Larry, specifically, were past their peak when you reached yours. Talk about your peak contemporaries. This would be like LeBron saying, in 20 years after 6 Cavs championships, "There's no way I would have ever called up Micheal & Shaq and said, let's get together...."
3. In a way, you DID exactly what you said you wouldn't do in the Olympics in 1992. Why is this any different? You chose to join forces with all the best players, and dominate.
4. Michael refuses to admit that Pippen was dominant, on both sides of the floor, and if he was on any team other than the Bulls, he would possibly be thought of as the 2nd best player of the 1990's. Jordan had his Wade.
5. I don't know if the league is different, but Wade & James want to win, and they recognize from the past 5 years, the way to do that is to join with another great player.

I am starting to get really pissed off at this whole situation, because people are holding to their original points, which don't make any sense anymore. Here are some more lies that are being spouted by the public & press, daily:

1. On the day they signed, the "The Heat won't have any money!" argument started to appear. Nobody would listen to the fact that James, Wade & Bosh were stating, out loud, "We will take less money!" and they did. The roster in Miami is clearly strong enough to win, this year.
2. People are still insisting there is no way LeBron can be in the pantheon of the all-time greats. I may have believed this at first blush, and I certainly held venomous feelings towards him for the insanely juvenile production he put on for 48 hours announcing. But, remember the following things. (1) He is 25, what if him and Wade win 5 of the next 8, or more? (2) What if he averages a Triple Double? (3) What if he has a series like he did v. Detroit in '07? I don't care who is teammates are, that was insanely amazing and repeating would be unreal.
3. The biggest lie is that the jealousy of a person of what we would consider sub-acceptable human intelligence at our daily jobs, is able to rake in hundreds of millions of dollars and make life choices that suit him and his family the best. The public & press needs to admit that is the motivation behind most of the anger, and the hope of failure.

Good luck to you, LeBron and D.Wade. I wish you no ill-will.