Bill Simmons Lies

I have a weird past with reading Bill Simmons - I remember when he was the Boston Sports Guy, in 2001, 2002-ish, and I didn't like his stuff.

I have a few emails I found that reference my feelings for him, and in one of them I said, "I only tend to agree with the stuff he says about the NBA, not the other sports", which I find funny because now he is almost exclusively an NBA talking head, and his book is as close to my favorite 1/2 reference, 1/2 observation book I've ever read.

If I were an artist, which I'm not, my sports book reading progression would be like Radiohead's first 4 album progression - none of them are the same but you can see similarities...going back to the Baseball Encyclopedia which was purely numbers, and leading all the way up to now which is The Book of Basketball.

But that's not why I'm here, I'm here to sympathize with our old pal Bill Simmons and work through what I think is really an unfortunate series of lies he is convincing himself of, all in the name of...well, in the name of I don't know what.

This is not a popular thought process, but it's sorta how I feel, and it isn't just about Bill & his feelings, but its sorta about how people approach things that irk them in general. I am trying to really find out what bothers Bill the most about this fiasco - see through the lies he has convinced himself of - and figure out what really bothers him.

I am going to get very amateur psychologist on you, but I think this all comes back to his dad. He references his Dad at least once in every work he does, and I don't think thats en exaggeration. He loves his Dad and his Dad's opinion, and that's admirable.

I think that at the end of the day, "The Decision" as well as the follow up on Day 2, which was equally, if not more offensive, Press Conference with Dry Ice, really hit Bill's sensibilities pretty hard. Bill's Dad really is not about what those 2 days were about, and I feel like Bill is grabbing at straws instead of purely admitting that, above all else, those 2 days of regalia were just too much for his Dad to handle.

Bill will point out really odd things, like he did yesterday on Brian Kenny's Radio show on ESPN Radio. This really didn't make sense to me. He was going on and on about how great it would be if Chris Paul was traded to the Knicks or Celtics - how his addition would be fantastic for both squads, without a hint of anger or acrimony towards any parties out there.

Kenny immediately called him on this hypocrisy - why is it okay for Chris Paul to bolt to another player in order to get better, why is that acceptable? His answer was twofold:

1. Because Chris Paul isn't the best player in the league and he isn't expected to have the same pedigree as Jordan - the killer "i want you dead" instinct. Well, that's stupid, Bill. That's a lie to yourself. All of them want to win really badly, and I don't see, aside from cheating, how they get there should effect anything.

2. (this one killed me) Because Chris Paul & Amare compliment each other - they aren't the same style, so it is okay if they compliment each other. He feels Wade & LeBron are too similar in the way they play hoops.

Lets break that one down.

First of all, that's purely a judgement call. What if you happen to like the style of 2 slashers kicking out to jumpshooters, like they'll do with Mike Miller & James Jones. Why does 1 style (big/small) v. (2 slashers) have to be more accepted than other?

Second of all, LeBron may reinvent himself. LeBron can be Magic, he really can. Magic was a point guard in a PF body, right? Yes. This notion that they don't compliment each other is really, really embarrassingly bad logic.

Bill is also jumping on the Jordan & Magic bandwagon when talking about, "that's not how it was in my day!" argument, which again is really terrible. I've been over this before, but in the last day or 2 I realized a HUGE flaw with this thinking, a lie the press and those veteran players are perpetuating.

The press is asking Magic if he'd play with Larry. Of course he wouldn't. That guy's entire life is based on his rivalry with Larry Bird. From the time he was 18 to the time he was ... now, he's been compared to Larry Bird. What they didn't ask Magic was, "if you were on a team that won 32 games a year for 4 years, would you play with Isaiah?"

LeBron joined forces with 2 guys who were drafted in his class, they were his peers. Does LeBron have a true rival? I don't know - I do know that Kobe & LeBron have been part of the discussion for a long time - would LeBron play with Kobe? I don't know, it wasn't part of the discussion b/c it wasn't financially feasible. No team has ever set them up for this kind of "thing" like the Heat have - if the Lakers set themselves up this way or if the Pistons did in the 80's, we may have seen something fantastic.

If Scottie Pippen played like the position he was drafted, and if Horace Grant played like a dork in goggles, and if Dennis Rodman didn't join the team as the best rebounder in 40 years, there could have been a situation in which Jordan would have combined with Ewing or Hakeem or someone else, let's not lie to ourselves about that reality. Remember, Jordan went to play at North Friggen Carolina, why didn't he Indiana State his way to the NCAA Finals?

Cuz he wanted to win, and wanted to succeed.

Which brings me to my final point. For years, basically as long as contracts have been a part of sports conscious, there has been a calling by sports fans to imagine scenarios in which players sacrifice dollars to form a mega-team. Now, of course its always something we want in our home town. It was something you always heard people say, "why can't these guys just admit enough is enough and join a mega-team?!"

The Rockets tried it with Barkley, Olajuwon and Drexler in 1996, and it didn't work. Drexler retired, they tried to bring in Pippen but the chemistry was bad and age won out. In 2004 the Lakers tried with Gary Payton, Shaq, Kobe & Karl Malone - but again, age was defeated in the Finals...they didn't quite have the legs to make it happen.

I am sitting here watching Matt Barnes sign with the Lakers for less money, in order to join a team to win it. I am stunned that I am forced to question that thinking. It is something we have all been asking for, forever, and its happening. Its admirable, isn't it?

LeBron, Wade & Bosh all took less money, none of them put themselves inside the top 20 in salary. TOP 20!!! They are all NBA top 20 - 2 of them are NBA top 5. They are sacrificing, and they are simply choosing to do it earlier in their careers.

Bill and Co., I understand disliking the LeBracle to the point where you lost respect for him. I can understand wanting to defeat that Goliath. I could, for a brief moment, understand the "they'll have no money" argument. But once the guys said, "i'll take less than max", you didn't believe them and said, "not possible" but you were wrong.

The fact remains what these guys have done, and are trying to do, is unprecedented in sports, and much like the on field historic never before seen crap we all love, I'm in love with this new formula, and we all should be.

1. Give Up Money

2. Play With Friends

3. Expand Your Own Personal Skill Set

4. Change The Game

Good on you, Miami.